My first blog!!!! 

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25th January 2022

 

Separation anxiety, a Mum and Educators perspective. 

 

As many of you are aware, I was an educator for 12 years before I became a Mum. An old director once told me "I didn't become a better educator when I became a Mum, I just understood things differently". This was so true. I'm not  a better educator, I was pretty awesome before haha  but it has helped me see things from a different perspective and its not always as black and white as I once thought. 

 

More than ever, we are entering this New Year in unsettled times. Constant changes of routines and familiarity. A new way of life and how we navigate it. Things can change overnight.

And the impact for families and educators has been really hard.

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Due to the ongoing changes such as educators being away, new or casual educators stepping in, isolation with families, friends not being there….children are feeling these effects.

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Then you add a transition to a new room and new routine, we can expect there to be a ripple effect in anxiety within our children.

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My daughter Elle has been in care since she was 7 months old, 3 days a week, so let’s say she is a regular haha. But this year, she started becoming clingy at drop off, feeling unsure and for the first time ever said, “No I don’t want to go to school”. And I can understand why, she is in a new room and there are new teachers each day that she is getting used to.

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So how can we help navigate the start of the year? First and foremost, when parents and educators work together, it always has the best outcome for the child.

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My best pointers:

• Parents to keep it as consistent as possible at drop off time. Do the same routine “have the best day, I will be here this afternoon, I’m going to work now, I love you” give them a kiss then hand over. Even when they have a good drop off or bad drop off, keep it the same. In this instant, the quicker the better.

• Encourage reminding the child that you will ALWAYS come back to get them and never sneak off, make sure you say goodbye.

• Educators to always say hello, using the child’s name and asking the family a question “how was your morning or how was your weekend”. Keep the child enthusiastic about coming “what would you like to do, would you like to help me set it up?” If the child is reluctant, still try and keep the process as smooth as possible.

• Let them spend time with their favourite educator or sibling. When a child feels alone or scared, this will enhance the anxiety. When they feel comfortable and secure, it will gradually ease, allowing them to become more confident in their environment.

• So, when one of my babies has a bad drop off (its rare) I still call up and ask how they are. Never once has the centre made me feel silly when I do this. Its is encouraged and I feel supported. The more secure Mum or Dad feels, the more secure the child will feel.

• Happy reunions. Be super excited to see your child reinforcing “wow it looks like you have had an amazing day” One thing I love to do, is sit down once a week and go through their photos that the centre has sent. We talk about their activities, friends, teachers and make school such a positive part of their life. Elle’s favourite thing to ask is “can I see my school day on your phone”.

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Just remember, separation anxiety is a normal behaviour especially when there are many changes. But we don’t want it to be a consistent behaviour. We want our children to understand that they will be ok without you, they will build new development skills such as independence, self-resilience and create many new bonds with their peers and teachers.

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Be patient with new families. It can be a challenging time for everyone but encourage all these pointers.

Explain why they are important. The more communication the better.

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“What a child can do today by assistance, she will be able to do by herself tomorrow” Vygotsky

 

Jen

Xx

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